Become a Master unNetworker – By Kim Ann Curtin

by Colleen on July 21, 2010

I did an email intro to an old and new friend after discovering they both lived in Boston. But my old friend never reached out. When I asked why, he said he didn’t want to be stuck “hooking” the guy up with business prospects or be a burden himself.

He’s not alone with this view point that networking is a transactional numbers game. This is why I advocate unNetworking; it’s an authentic and non-transactional way of building your Rolodex.

Think Long Tail
This is not a hat you can put on just for events; it’s a way of life. Building relationships with human beings is never transactional. It means a true connection with another. It’s better to bring home one business card of someone you really connect with than a stack from people you can’t even recall. Here’s a secret: most of the people you meet won’t be an immediate prospect. That part comes later once they know and trust you. Letting go of the mindset that you must “score a deal” will loosen you up so you can find true connection with the people you meet.

Be Authentic
You don’t have to be a master of ceremonies or an extrovert. All you have to be is kind and genuine. Be who you are – anything else will come off as fake. Mention how challenging it was to even approach them if it was. When you show your vulnerability you will be seen as a human being, not a title. You’ll be remembered as someone “real.”

It’s About Them
Try the host mindset. When you host a party you aren’t focused on yourself; you’re too busy making sure everyone else is having a good time. When you approach people ask them what it is that they need, then stay connected while they explain. Think of either who or what you know that might assist them and then follow through. This will set you apart from everyone. And when it’s your turn to speak, you know where to put the emphasis on your offerings.

Mix it Up
Go to events or groups that you don’t consider yourself a member of. You can be sure to stand out since you will be the only one of your kind, a guaranteed way to broaden your relationships.

This last one is why I’m even here in this magazine. I attended Affiliate Summit East last summer for the first time, in spite of not being an affiliate marketer. Relationships that began then have now turned into friendships as well as extraordinary business opportunities. Plus I continue to receive an amazing education from proven experts on how to be a more effective online business woman. Is it awkward to go in as a foreigner? Hell yes. But the discomfort lasts only as long as it takes to introduce yourself to one person. unNetworking is about building authentic relationships with people that you like and trust. Be that first and everyone eventually will want to do business with you.

Stop by www.TheCoachShoppe.com to schedule a free call with Kim to help understand how to get your life or business on track.

Download the entire FeedFront issue 11 here – http://www.scribd.com/doc/29057000/FeedFront-Magazine-Issue-11
FeedFront issue 11 articles can be found here as well: http://feedfront.com/archives/article00date/2010/07

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  • http://www.benspark.com BenSpark

    Kim is my coach. We met at ASE09. Kim truly lives what she said above, that is how we connected and are connecting each and every week. I’ve seen relationships that we both started at ASE09 blossom into some amazing opportunities for each of us. Listen to this woman, she knows of which she speaks.

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  • http://www.jgoodedesigns.com Jen Goode

    Kim, this is a fantastic article, thank you so much for sharing. This topic so very important for others to understand. I believe that the key to success is relationship building and the best way to do that is to participate as one would in any new found connection. I’ll be sharing many of your same views at ASE10 during the “Ask the Experts” sessions… I’m the girl hosting the “Beyond Business cards” table.

    I look forward to connecting with you!

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  • JeanneBrown

    The line I like best is “When you host a party you aren’t focused on yourself; you’re too busy making sure everyone else is having a good time.” That’s my approach to networking–don’t always have a personal motive, and do what’s best for the other people, not necessarily yourself. And maybe think of it as “business karma” instead of “networking.” Put good things out in the universe and eventually good things will come back to you.